The Rhythm of a Foolish Christian Woman . . .

As women, we are experts at scripting from the time we were little girls.  As little girls, we shared our dreams of what we wanted to be and/or do when we grew up — a career path, where to live, or be married.  We dream, we fantasize, we wish, we hope, and we plan.  Before long, we’re in “Go Mode” to make things happen.  It’s been said, “Some people make things happen, some watch things happen, while others wonder what happened?”  Although, this proverb is not found in scripture, we may find ourselves culpable of the first part, i.e., making things happen.  We certainly don’t want to be among those who watch things happen or, for heaven’s sake, be the ones who say, what happened?  We want to be in the know and in the now!  So, our plan begins.

In my years of mentoring, those women desiring to be married often fall into the category of asking, “When? – My dreams haven’t yet materialized and time is ticking away.”  When an eligible bachelor crosses her path and for whom she has grown to care, and she knows he doesn’t hold her same Godly values, she becomes vulnerable and runs the risk of settling for less than God’s best.  Her feelings override her values.  She rationalizes that she can change him (or hopes that he will change) and scripts in a “husband-do-over”. 

. . . A woman meets a man she hopes she can change, and he doesn’t!

. . . A man meets a woman and hopes she doesn’t change, and she does!

In her book, The Foolish Christian Woman, Author Veda Barrett says that many women go to the altar not to say “I Do”, but “I’ll Re-do”.  These women are fooling themselves.

There are Godly men who desire Godly women – not controllers – not do-over artists.  Real Godly men are trusting Him to meet their mate – one for whom they can love, protect, and provide – thus, fulfilling their God-given role as the Priest (Head) of their home.  A consecrated man clearly will not dishonor God by dishonoring or compromising the woman he is dating and/or courting.  That isn’t love – it’s an itch they want scratched!  By the same token, a virtuous woman wants her man to be one to whom she can give herself, one whom she can admire, one whom she can honor, and one whom she can respect for ever and a day.  She recognizes her fear and doesn’t allow it to pressurize her into thinking that her wait isn’t happening fast enough.  God doesn’t have a clock – He has seasons!  Therefore, she adjusts to God’s season and is willing to wait for her Isaac.

If you are not yet married and questioning yourself about a relationship, or you sense a red flag, or your spirit lacks His peace – stop and think!  Your quickest loss is your cheapest.  An Ishmael will cost you more than you are willing to pay.  Do not settle.  Do not compromise.  Do not quit.  Only believe!

In what ways are you settling for an Ishmael when an Isaac is on his way?